For years I noticed an unmistakable and measurable trend: My game was tightest, and I always scored the hottest women, when I was actively in a committed relationship.
Cheating, for some reason, made the game easier. Now, it can be more fun to cheat for obvious reasons (the thrill of getting caught, etc), but why would cheating in and of itself make your game better?
I spent a lot of time mulling over this until I came to a realization: parachutes.
Let’s talk about skydiving
Have you ever jumped out of a plane? What a fucking rush. I tell you what, I wish there were an adequate way to describe that thrill. If you could get people to understand what it’s like to be in complete free fall, to move around in all three dimensions.
The way your lizard brain pumps hormones through your body. Knowing deep in the cavernous recesses of your brain that you’re falling to your death at 122 miles per hour.
If you were a decent salesman that could accurately describe the rush, and transplant a part of the feeling of it into people’s brains, you might get a few people to sign up on that feeling alone.
I would be willing to bet, though, that selling skydiving packages becomes exponentially easier when you stop selling the thrill so much and start selling people on the quality of the parachute.
Having a quality parachute will make the prospective skydiver feel safe. A thorough understanding of the safety device and it’s mechanisms will enable him to feel confident in his choice to do an incredibly dangerous thing, because the dangerous thing feels safe by a relative comparison.
In the same way, being in a (semi) committed relationship helps keep your game on point by allowing you a certain amount of state control because you are anti-fragile in the situation.
The parachute negates the danger of the dive.
If you have a job that you hate – like when I worked at Burger King – and you spend your time interviewing and applying until you land a new job, how are you going to feel at that old one? If you’re anything like me, I relished the entire notice period. I went in to work every day and just waited for the opportunity to throw some shit back at people.
I didn’t care if I got fired from that job because I had a better job already lined up and waiting for me. Burger King could get all kinds of fucked, it absolutely did not matter to me. This new job acted as a parachute, canceling out the danger of shit talking my boss. The worst she could do was fire me, which would just give me a few weeks of vacation until I started a better job. We call that a win/win.
When you’re at a bar or club and you’re hitting on your choice lady, you’re much more willing to take the risks and say the dangerous things if you know that, even if you fail in a public and catastrophic way, you can still get laid.
It’s the backup plan, the sure thing, the parachute that makes the jump that much easier. You realize that this hot girl in the bar will only end up doing one of two things: Sucking you off in the bathroom, or sending you away to your girlfriend, who will suck you off on the couch.
There is so much game that requires a strong sense of state control, and a large pair of testicles. So many gambits you’ll run and routines you’ll work through involve saying brash and ballsy things. Having a parachute can make it easier to do these things because you’re outcome independent.
Since you remove your emotional investment in the outcome (E.g., ‘I have to get laid tonight because I haven’t had sex in 3 months!!’) you are much more aloof and able to run tighter game. Think of it like a short cut to alpha state control.
If you get a girlfriend whom you can cheat on, or who is okay with being in an open relationship you can disconnect yourself from the consequence of failing at the bar, and be free to give it all you’ve got.
When you’re disconnected from the outcome because you have a parachute you can say the things you’d normally be too much of a pussy to even think about. Did your neg not come out right? That joke not go over too well? Who gives a shit?
A parachute enables you to do some subtle role reversal, which drives women insane and lights the wettest of fires in her panties. Instead of interviewing for the great honor of perhaps getting to stick your tongue inside her public aquarium, you’re now giving her the chance to jump the line at your private pole party.
You go from chasing her, to giving her the opportunity to compete for your affections. When she picks up on this, she will be more willing to not only fuck you, but do so in the dirtiest of ways. #asstomouth
There are some drawbacks
I’m not going to lie to you: This method does not remove stress from running game, it simply displaces it to another place. It’s like an artificial sweetener: Sure, you don’t gain weight, but you do gain cancer.
The stress is removed from the bar situation, where you would normally be worried about how to telegraph the right amount of aloof, devil-may-care attitude, and is foisted upon your relationship.
If she’s okay with an open relationship, you have to be okay with it too. A lot of men get territorial over pussy once it’s been around them for a while. Perhaps it’s some kind of stone age, animal instinct that we developed, I’m not sure. I just know it will trip you up.
You also have to understand that most women are not okay with open relationships, but they are willing to suffer a multitude of sins for your sake. They think they love you, and for sake of that love will let you get away with all manner of evil for a time. Every time you cheat, you’ll be chipping away at her, and that carries with it a certain burden of it’s own.
Unless you’re a psychopath it will eventually catch up to you. And if it gets to her before it gets to you, you’ll find yourself either without a parachute or stuck in a committed LTR.
The other way this goes sideways is that she isn’t okay with an open relationship at all, and you are just legitimately cheating. There are the moral and spiritual implications of all of that, which I will leave you to figure out on your own – though it’s similar to what I just outlined.
The biggest risk to this scenario is how short-lived it is. She will find out eventually, and when she does, she will likely leave you. Now, if you’re playing the game the right way, that’s okay. It probably wasn’t too serious for you anyway. Except now you’re without a parachute.
Though, let’s be honest: If you’re okay with using a girl who thinks she’s in a committed relationship as nothing more than a fall back, you really don’t have problems with state control.
Will a FWB situation work?
A “Friend with Benefits”, or Fuck Buddy, might serve as a parachute for a while, but it isn’t ideal. The thing that keeps your parachute properly packed is the commitment. Without that crucial ingredient, you may pull your rip cord to no results, ending in another night of crying in the shower so your mom can’t hear you (and we’ve had enough of those).
When your parachute is a Fuck Buddy instead of a steady girlfriend, you have to hope that she struck out the same night you did. You’re relying on her desperation, and by nature of her sex she will always have more options.
She’s a fallback for you, but you’re a last minute, no other options choice for her. There will likely be people ahead of you in the cafeteria line.
You run the risk, with a fuck buddy, of texting her only to find out that your plan b is also busy or uninterested. But when you have a steady girlfriend, she’s always ready to see you, and she’s always ready to fuck.
Remember that while it’s always good to keep a parachute in your pocket, nothing here is truly a replacement for strong state control. Good luck this week and happy hunting!