Perhaps you’re married and you wonder what can put that fun and that spark back in your friendship with your wife: This post is for you.
Maybe you’re just here to learn some honest-to-God, solid game so you can be better around women: This post is for you.
Maybe you’re a dad trying to figure out how to raise a “red pill woman” who won’t ride the carousel into her late thirties: This post is for you.
Maybe you’re in a Chili’s right now chatting up a chick and you need some quick advice: Put down your fucking phone, you idiot. Also, this post is for you.
This post could have been given a lot of names: 8 Reasons To Tease Your Wife. How To Tease This Girl At Chili’s. 8 Reasons Dads Should Tease Their Daughters. Doesn’t matter what we call it, though.
The name isn’t as important as the content. This post is based around a fundamental law of female attraction: Women love being teased. They absolutely love it. Its fun, its sexy, and its exciting.
It also carries the added benefit of disqualifying her and forcing her to then qualify herself to you.
Teasing is a powerful principle and it is something that every single man on planet Earth should master. The playful tease should be your default when you interact with a woman. It doesn’t matter if that woman is a romantic interest, your mother, or your cousin.
You should always tease (just ask Ryan Reynolds).
Why is teasing so poweful, you ask? Well, let me explain it to you in handy listicle format!
1. Its charming
Seriously. It is James Bond, hi I’m wealthy, look at my chiseled abs charming. When you tease a girl it shows a certain aura of aloof detachment – something chicks crave in a man. It shows that your confident, witty, and outgoing.
These are all massive boosts for you in the game – all major qualities. Basically teasing her telegraphs that you have the exact qualities she would want her son to have, thus causing her mating drive to spool up and produce liquid thrust. In her loins.
2. Its endearing
It sets you apart from other men, immediately. Most guys are too busy complimenting her and orbiting her like a moon to make a move. You don’t want to be this bitch’s moon! That shit’s weak.
How many times has our moon had any contact with our earth? None. It just sits up there, spinning around, always looking at her, and being all responsible for her tides and helping her see at night – pathetic.
When you tease a chick you become more like “wormwood”. You’re a comet that comes out of nowhere at a million miles an hour and collides with her (sexually). You’re different, disruptive, new – ultimately, you’re endearing yourself to her.
3. It gives you an in-joke
I tease my wife all of the time. She can be pretty clumsy sometimes, and its actually pretty cute to watch her try and fail at a rather basic task. So whenever she would drop something, break a glass, trip, lose something – whatever – I would say, “Man babe, you suck the big one.”
Now whenever she’s clumsy or has a ‘blonde moment’, I say, “What do you do?” And she playfully responds in a fake-sad voice, “I suck…” This is a very us thing.
We both get a kick out of it, and its even better when we’re in public or in front of her friends. They all must wonder how poorly I treat her, and we laugh about it later because they’re out of the joke.
4. Solidifies camaraderie
In a similar vein as the above, teasing her will solidify her camaraderie with you. In addition to having inside jokes naturally develop, you will teach her that you’re actually there for her.
By teasing her about things she says and does, you’re showing that you actually pay enough attention to her to notice. By always keeping it light and fun, you show her that you get her.
Teasing her will only strengthen your friendship – and friendship is a necessary building block for sex (as long as its the right kind of friendship, that is).
5. Its exciting
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come off the cuff with a joke on my wife and we both sit there for a second with a bit of shell shock before we laugh. Sometimes you have no idea how well a joke is going to go over, you know?
Was that too far? Did I push the envelope a bit too much? Are puns still funny? Framing yourself as exciting, as willing to push boundaries, is framing yourself as the fun person that she wants to be around. You make her life adventurous!
6. Its funny
Laughter, they say, is the best medicine. I’m not sure how well it works against a melanoma, but I can tell you that it will heal the ills of your marriage.
I know a lot of funny people, people that can always get a laugh and a smile out of me, and I love every single one of them. Conversely, I know a lot of super serious people and they are not much fun to be around.
The point is: You can’t hate someone that always makes you smile. Your body is a two-way, closed circuit system. Smiling makes you happy, and being happy makes you smile.
So if you make her laugh a lot, you’re making her smile a lot, which means you’re making her happy (literally, chemically, in her brain). She will have a hard time disliking you when you’re a major source of happiness in her life.
7. Chicks dig jerks
Here’s the obvious game trope: Chicks dig jerks. Teasing a girl frames you as the Harley riding alpha bad boy here to save the day. And by save the day I mean plunder the depths of her tender sexuality. And women like that.
The thought of being repeatedly impaled by some random biker asshole may seem like the worst night of your life, but to a woman it sounds like an adventure – queue the water works.
So bring out your inner Harley Demon, and tease her. I promise, she’ll want to have sex with you later.
8. Brings you back
Remember when you were kids fresh out of wherever you were fresh out of at that particular moment in your lives, and you had all of that fun and those many good times together? No?
Well she does.
And believe me, she hates that you’re a boring dad-bod drone now. She’s cheating on you with the memory of the man you used to be.
When you tease her, you show her shades of that fun and exciting man she fell for, all over again. It makes her want to be with you even more because you’re more and more the man she fell in woman-love with.
One of the healthiest things you can do for your marriage is tease your wife. Don’t be an asshole, but at the same time don’t be too worried about her precious fees.
If you’re dating a girl, or simply trying to pick one up in a bar, remember that teasing is the straight line to her heart and/or vaginal opening.
Teasing is a healthy and normal human interaction that girls grow to love in grade school and then never, ever grow out of. It would be wise of you to understand that and act accordingly.