Establish A Line

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Your first impression is important.

Very important.

You need to always come off as social, approachable, but obviously in control. The best way to accomplish all of this at once is to employ the use of some not-so-obvious body language. I could drone on for days about things to watch for and you would have to sort through one very long and extremely confusing blog post. Instead, I’m going to focus on one thing you can start implementing right away and see immediate results with, and as time goes on I’ll post about the other things.

Do you shake hands like a pussy?

Nothing irks me more than when I meet a well built, tall, square-jawed man in a power suit whose handshake is about as hard as a gay man at a titty bar. If you have a weak, limp-dicked, nancy boy handshake, you will immediately lose alpha cred with whomever is being introduced to you. In order to help you avoid this social faux pas, I’m going to give you a short list of handshaking tips that will establish you immediately as the dominant party, no matter what the situation.

Don’t introduce yourself

Remember that everyone is there to please you. You are the one in charge, and people are striving for your attention and your affirmation, not the other way around. Whether your interviewing for a job, in the middle of court, meeting her parents, or just hangin' out at the bar with some friends, everyone is seeking your approval and not the other way around. You let people introduce themselves to you, or be introduced to you by a mutual friend – but never initiate.

Don’t extend your hand farther than the length of your forearm – Keep your elbow at your side. Because you aren’t striving for the other party’s approval or attention, you aren’t going to go out of your way to reach their hand. Let them do the embarrassing arm extending, let them lean into the handshake (inadvertently bowing their head to you in recognition of your giant testicles), let them do the work. The most work you put into this is to take a small step, which brings me to;

Take a step inward

Do it quickly and aggressively. Step inward as you extend your hand. They will reach their hand out and grasp yours. At this point – because you’ve moved – they have now put themselves in your personal space, and not the other way around. Do not appear uncomfortable or fazed by this. Smile, acknowledge their presence and;

Establish a line

Where ever your lead foot is when you grab their hand, establish that as your territorial line. Do not back off that line, no matter what. Let them exit the space. It is your space, this is your world, that is your line. They are in your territory. You can move on your line, step forward of your line, but you can never retreat off your line. Once you establish a line, hold it. This is your world, they are just lucky enough to be a part of it.

Squeeze

Squeeze their hand like you have some nuts hanging between your legs! Don’t give them a limp fish handshake, give them a firm and solid manshake! You don’t want to give the impression that you’re a flaccid nancy boy when you shake hands, you want to give off an air of reserved strength and power! So squeeze their hand firmly, but don’t crush it. And once you do that;

Turn their hand over – But only slightly. Your index finger should be on their wrist when you lock hands, and as soon as your hands connect, give a slight twist counterclockwise (if you’re right handed), so that your hands are angled with yours on top and theirs on bottom. Your palm should be down and theirs facing up. Its a subtle gesture that they will subconsciously pick up on the speaks of your authority. Pro tip: Don’t look at your fucking hands when you do this.

Hand “Shake” is just a name – Don’t actually shake their hand like some faggy beta-male cubical worker who is just golly darn excited to meet a new person! Give it a firm, downward pump as you turn, and then hold it.

Hold it until they are uncomfortable and you are finished – This goes for both their hand and their eyes. You lock on their eyes, and let them look away first. When they do, release their hand.

Smile, asshole

Make sure you smile, you’re jovial and outgoing, and you don’t make them feel threatened with your stone-face and cave grunts. You don’t need to talk their ear off, but a nice smile and a “how ya doin” (don’t say your name, let someone else do the leg work), will make all the difference between asshole and Alpha Male.

Some key things to remember when shaking hands: Your hand shake really shouldn’t be more than a few seconds long. If you follow all of this advice, you should have them averting their eyes and be releasing their grip after 5 to 7 seconds. Make sure you’re friendly, but not try-hard. Above all you want to display confidence, not quite arrogance, and indifference. Reward them if they meet your standards, and if they don’t – who gives a fuck? Walk off and do something that interests you (read: Women).

Good luck, my soon-to-be-alpha children!

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